authomerica

tears of the dying son we seing
now is no time to be pickin
let the toxic breed, of the humanitarian greed
be all out, like what we all call out
the race of the single, im taking it to your hearing
this is the cause, we use to take upon
your so called boss
without a cross,
i will bear,
no time to despair, on the sorrows of the women
and the union, taking all the lessons
ive learned for the children, is what they teach me,
right to the lefties
and wrong to the right
blood for oil and they wont go without a fight
this is their right, also mine
im feeling the anger so im waiting in line,
the leader sings, what he thinks
has the right tones,
while all his children cry and die in bombed homes,
live em alone, this is their zone
right is the left and wrong is your sight
we bite the bullet that pierces the sign
give em the royalty to escort you to death
you know youll see them smiling when youve finally left

+
bomb the dune people, shoot the minority,
thats what you say with total authority,
giving them freedom while taking their land?
now kids are marching with guns in their hands…

tones of the graves, of the million people dead,
singing, wasting every minute that youre living
a laugh behind your back,
a stick for every rock, we will hit, we wont quit
time of the miners, of the system that holds us to end
they break, we just bend,
let lose the cannibal playing he’s a general,
of all the army, he command,
sacrifice his children for fear and crude land,
with imaginary reasons to back up all his missions,
its just world domination, and what? whos next?
on your book containing your texts,
and the list, and wishes, and all of the west,
wanting to put bullets on every persons chest,
monetary words saying in god you trust?
so was he the one who told you that to kill you must?
land of the brave, killer of slaves,
taking everything, a saint in the stage
right is the left and wrong is your sight
we bite the bullet that pierces the sign
give em the royalty to escort you to death
you know youll see them smiling when youve finally left

candice

stole my smiles,
days gone by,
waiting for you again. cant deny,
that i miss you,
every now and then.

oh cruel time has taken you away,
now i miss the way you look the other day.
oh please i gotta/wanna say…

i wanna fade with you,
and i will take you there
/i wanna be the one to take you there
i wanna fade with you,
and i will take you,
take you, there.

silent sigh,
for every lie,
i know i wont see you anymore.

could you say?
why cant you stay?
smile with me tomorrow.

no, truth is blinding
we cant stop hiding,
from you.
no, truth comes running,
your face is clearing,
its you.

…corpse

by everette jane catindig

Struck by reality
Been numb for awhile
All I’ve felt is gust of wind
Mind turned blank
Systems refused to function
Everything seems void
Am doomed to fail
I remained hanging
Wasn’t able to recuperate
Waited for somebody to pick me up
Haul my body and turn it into waste
Useless… hopeless… lifeless….

haunted

shes puttin on the old dress again…
it could have died with the years that passed…
but her tears of anger still sorounds the room…
cry of madness, her beauty in full bloom…
im feelin that old coldness again…
its been years since she last looked at me…
holding a letter opener in her right hand…
my bleeding heart in her left…

i could smell her perfume and my blood…
i see her looked away for a moment…
then she grinned…
im feeling that old haunting wind whisper on…

she blew away some unreadable words…
it made me choke for some reasons…
her hair has gotten longer ive noticed…
so i wished for an early dawn then…

time is suffocating her from me…
shes gonna come yesterday but today…
she had told me I’d never be free…
for shes coming yesterday but today…

the moon made me drop to my knees…
she wanted me to beg…
its now running and its hurting my head…
i cant understand even a single word she said…

im feeling that old cold wind…
im feeling it whisper on…

high

the smoke’s already clearing now…
but im starting to see clouds now…
i cant seem to move my body at all…
but i feel so alive…
it feels so endless…
clouds…
stars…
passing storks with babies on their beeks…
its endless…
clouds and stars…
i cant think of anything bad…
and wrong…
and negative…
and…
i don’t know…
passing storks with babies…
maybe these birds are crazy…
don’t need to see them…
maybe im loosin it…
clouds…
the moon is starting to take a peek at me…
smiling at me…
i hate him…
he reminded me of pain…
all those nights i told only him…
all those sad things…
there were no one else…
only the moon…
only him…
i hate him…
he reminds me of those sad things…
but his smiling at me…
i don’t want to…
but i smiled back…
i cant feel any hate anymore…
any sorrow…
any loneliness…
its endless…
everythings okay…
great…
i looked down at the green fields below me…
something seemed to have suddenly stabbed me…
im too far away from the nebula…
what?…
these fuckin birds are crazy…
im starting to lose it…
but no…
im still high and brave up here…
im so alive…
wait…
somethings coming my way…
it looked like it was the devil…
i started to choke…
he grinned as he grab a passing stork…
he said…
“these birds are crazy you know”…
he grinned again…
and then took off the storks head with his bare hands…
and then he let go of the bird…
i watched it as it fall down to the green fields below me…
crazy birds with babies on their beeks…
i watched it fall down…
with a baby on its beek…
clouds and stars…
everythings so right…
im loosing it…
what am i saying?…
thinking?…
the moon…
the devil…
i cant move my body…
i opened my eyes…
ceiling…
smell of burnt skin and roots and leaves…
i was not high above there after all…
i was down here…
i cried as i lie on the floor…
i watched it all fall down… everything is not okay…
no clouds no stars…
no moon to talk to…
no crazy stork with babies…
only the devil…
im loosing it…

icu

by everette jane catindig

Sitting at a corner
I see nothing but obscurity
could not move
am so stiff, so cold
am not dead

I am shivering
cannot feel myself
cannot grasp air
my mouth is parched
am not dead

Fear wants to take control of me
It is targeting my weakness
I could have surrendered
I could have cried
But I chose not to
For am not dead

incision

bright light sucking you inside,
so nice and colorful you cant even hide,
lots of reasoning and muttering behaviour,
tell me, now tell me, could you really be my saviour

let me explain to you your very existence,
though me myself cant answer my questions,
i think ill just guess it and make you so joyful,
you little mindless vampire, slave of your own shadow,

we swear it was real, we saw it with these eyes,
how can we see it when we know its all lies,
the bigger the answer the happier the people,
to find out whats true and things that dont resemble

why do you even bother to think,
why do you even think at all,
when you can scape and be free from from your soul,

let me in my friend, and hold onto my hand,
ill open your eyes but still youll be blind,
you really dont need them as long as your kind,
kind enough to be a fool, a fool for these circus signs,

snakes and leaves dont grow together,
the green you have loved, for all you can remember
hated the winder, cursed her face for being a leader,
but think my friend, it was the leaves that made you not see her

darken your shadows, dawn only makes it more sooting,
these little wide thinkers, always realizing things over
turn the tides over and bend for another
we’ll soon get the picture of this senseless puzzle,

how long will you be patient and hoping for something,
that even the million ages had kept on denying,
wishing so careful not to break the human instinct,
lacking the symptoms of our disfunctional endtime,

why do you even bother to think,
why do you even think at all,
when you can scape and be free from from your soul,

why do you even bother to feel,
why do you even believe at all,
when you can scape and be free from from your soul

is it you, is it me

I would turn on your lights
If you’d only believe
That there are more things to life
Than what we only see
‘cause it’s a matter of faith
a faith to no one, you see?
And as a matter of fact
We don’t need facts to believe

But who we are kidding here?
Is it you, is it me
And who is really blinded here?
Is it you, is it me

I would walk with you endless
If you put a start on your feet
You’re afraid of the shadows
Even if its cast on your own lil’ street
And it’s a matter of will
A will to push yourself, you hear?
And as a matter of fact
Your path doesn’t have to be so clear

But who we are kidding here?
Is it you, is it me
And who is really blinded here?
Is it you, is it me

Hey who are we judging here?
Is it you, is it me
And who is really blinded here?
Is it you, is it me

Now I would say you’re just your skin
If you tell me that’s how you’ve seen
All the people around you, but then…
It could be you or it could be me again.

man with a broken arm

then i saw a man with a broken arm…
i think he was starin at me too long that ive finally
noticed him…
he was makin strange sounds…
those things you hear when you cant find your
self to sleep…
he waved at me and flashed an inviting smile…
why would he leave so early when
he is needed around…?
its goin down to my lungs and into my heart…
black smoke tearing my veins apart…
the man waved his broken arm again and i can smell
the smoke rise over me then…
why would he leave so soon when he is badly needed…?

he is going to take me to rome he told me…
if i would follow his footsteps it will all be fine he told me…
still waving his hand
i feel my throat tighten and i started to fall…
i woke up to see the names and praises written on the wall…
its begginning to fade to dawn…
he is leaving when everyone needs him now…

i saw a man with a broken arm…
i guess i was the one staring too long…
he noticed me…

neurons

listening,
muttering,
words that are simple,
why cant you be this simple,
it doesnt have to be difficult,
you f*ckin c*nt,
its possible to be this simple,
dreaming,
listening,
sleeping my day over,
dont think it will be over,
soon,
but who cares,
its just so simple,
why cant you see,
its just so simple,

battered,
skinned,
by the ways that you walked,
over me,
yet i see its simple,
as something so simple,
can be so difficult,
around and back again,
youll see its not that hard,
understand it and its not that hard,
you just wanna make it hard,
on yourself,
to be difficult,
to be different,
and be away from the flock,
thinkin he will come for you,
and be different,
and save you,
over a simple thing,
a simple dispicable existence,

waiting,
drooling,
for something so special,
listening to denials,
waiting,
and listening,
waiting and listening,
it so simple,
you dont have to make it so damn complicated,
its just so simple,
just wait and listen.

people electric

its not electric.
in a matter of time it will subside.
silence.
people know that.
you know that.
it all goes down to something worthless.
useless and has no f*cking meaning.
in a matter of time you’ll find that out.
people know that.
electronic things dont get caught.
they just stand and look
your heartbeat is electric.
you know that?
people know that.
just like when you wake up.
a sunday morning.
gotta get up.
gotta go to church.
its electric.
but a hybrid sense stops you.
an auction.
bid for another hour.
its the way things are.
another complaint.
we rush to give it a push.
another worthless complaint.
being sick doesnt make you weak.
it only makes you slow.
then we give it a push.
yell.
thats the spirit we say.
people know that.
wheres the spirit anyway.
thats the spirit again we say.
sometimes you wish to stop it.
stop the heartbeat.
be frozen.
a choice that cannot be chosen.
waking up.
its all so f*cked up.
waking up?
we dont need to bother.
did you know that?
we believe in these things.
like waking up is real.
its what the people know.
just like a sunday morning.
people electric.
damn it.
theres a sense in it.
but we dont need to bother.
in a matter time.
waking up wont be important.
its not electric.

rain

I was not aware of coming rain
I guess I was too busy looking at you
you brought some lil misty stares
my own self made a fool out of me

seing my own hands catching some raindrops
it seems to dig in to my skin I can feel pain
and like falling leaves I let the wind blow me to nowhere
sadness is now cloaking me, ill be with sorrow
trying to throw your lingering words away from me
but its seems every letter has been carefully etched
the rain keeps on pouring
and im counting my fears as I wouldn’t admit them

cursed is my face I would never recognize it
from the howls of regretion and smiles of the few
ill be keeping myself hidden away from the storm
I was never aware of the coming rain…
i was too busy looking at you.

sigh to take

You are the cure
Of a non-existent disease
Oh make me pure
Again, and help me release
Some things, that cannot be said
Locked up in this head
For as long as we breathe
We’ll never concede

You are the test
Of my own self-esteem
To feel so unblessed
And still have to grin
Over some things, cannot be said
Shunned away in your bed
For as long as we see
Its just now you and me

You confuse
You abuse
And take away a ton of things
You deny
You conspire
Against the things that make me smile

You are the pull
On the leg of what is faith
Of what’s everyday to all
Which anybody cant just intake
Someone, cannot be said
Ashes forever instead
For as long as we live
We might never forgive

You defused
You misused
And bore away what we have foreseen
You denied
You defied
And dug deeper until unseen

september star

i was late for you again,
explaining things you dont wanna hear,
everythings fine but nothings clear,
it was a lie i said goodbye

wind is blowing to my face,
whispering words i cant embrace,
right here where we used to be,
cursing time to give you back to me,

+
i have made a thousand smiles,
tried to make me look alright,
will i see you this september,
will i see you this september…

all this smoke just wont help,
forcing it in inside myself,
could you be seing the same blue moon,
telling me that youll be here soon,

though its a lie, im still believing
no use for hope but here im staring,
pictures of you and pictures of me,
and how we have planned all things to be,

+
i have made a thousand smiles,
tried to make me look alright,
will i see you this september,
will i see you this september…

now im looking at mars,
thinking how we said it ours,
could you be on the other side?
thinking its still ours…

seven shades of you

Friday night we were there
Spitting ashes everywhere
You were staring at the ceiling
All the secret thoughts we’re keeping
And these scars of what we did yesterday….

Oh it’s all amazing…
These seven shades of you…

Saturday night we disappeared
Every little thing we turned to air
We were counting all the sheep’s work
On a distant future cut short
With all the fences we built yesterday…

Oh it’s all so amazing…
These seven shades of you…
And you’re movies, amazing
The seven shades of you…

You see, you will be free
You see, you know you’ll agree
Because you feel, that you are me
And I will be free
And you see, and you feel
And I see, and I feel
And we breathe… but will forever conceal

But it’s still amazing…
The seven shades of you…
These seven shades of me.

Sunday dawn… we reappeared
With seven more shades of you and me.

smoke

theres alotta way
to make it
to have it your way
no ones there to pray
to bring you
a better day

but theres alotta way
to make it
just take it all my friend

just one more sigh and smoke it up
im leavin you but dont give up
for theres alotta way to say
i know youre gonna be okay one day

tomorrows running dry
but keep it up
just think it all up

you can run away from it
it aint true that you cant hide
just smoke it all up

try to skip the lines and be alone
lie to yourself that its all gone
try to be no one and youll understand

that you dont have to care for a way
you dont need it anyway
just lie there and smoke it up.

stella

Did you really think I’d let you down
When my soul, it sings, it drips the sound
Of neurons fired from what’s within
Burnt skin lying over the truth it seemed

Did you really see what we’ve become
From racing moonlights to faceless suns
I’ve never meant to ignore the signs
That you’ve never placed to draw the line

And so it is…

Stella can you speak
Stella are you sick
Of everything you crave
Stella can you speak

And do you really hear my exhales
Breathing patterned like those daily sales
You walked in to find all the things
Were just a cut from a fifty percent off dream

And do you really like to slide
Drifting like a twelve year old dancing child
Changing voices every now and then
And be back to the first tone again

And so it is…

Stella can you speak
Stella are you living
Or leaving everything you crave
Stella can you speak

And so it is…

the hunger

slid these moments to what i need now…
feed the longing,
feed the demon,
that lies at the bottom.

shake your doubts off and feel it all coming…
wake me when its over,
feel me im colder,
lie dead and soon the awakening.

+
it says leave me be,
im trying to feed you,
life’s greatest hunger…
oro’s greatest fear…
feel me im colder…
fill me im colder.

game of survival, listen to the screams…
late comes the morning,
hallucinating whats heaven,
gates have opened, feed me here.

holy water fountain we bathe,
fiery sword you take,
eyes of conclusions,
lie dead again but soon the awakening.

+
it says leave me be,
im feeding your very hunger,
mans greatest longing…
the cross’ greatest fear…
feel me im colder…
feel me here…

feel me here…
fill me here…
feel me here…
feed me here…

there

how I want to take you there,
where there is no one else but us two,
things we hate and like, we’ll leave behind,
there, the water never runs dry,
if only I could take you there,
our smiles will be our post,
we wont need any of this circus,
there, everything falls into place,

I want to be the one to get you there,
my feet will be your pedal,
its not far from here,
just tell me, its really not that far from here,

no more sounds of hate,
no more sights of ignorance in freedom,
no more aches, no more sobs,
no more soul to take care of,

its not that far from here,
its not far from here…

tomorrow

a wish for you and i
choked on the words as i say
give me another try
this time we’ll have it your way

long hours just pass by
like trains on a busy monday
moments without you cries
these are the prices to pay

+
and tomorrow may come like yesterday
i wish i’d still be okay
and somehow i tried to find a way
but you said you just cant stay

now im wonderin why
i can never hold you
you gave a silent sigh
to everything i told you

you said someday ill find
a lot of happy faces
but whats in my mind
stay with me and all my wishes

+
and tomorrow may come and not today
i know you’ll still be okay
and tomorrow may come but either way
you said you still cant stay

untitled

by jobelle nepomuceno

is it possible
to live in a dream
but we never have to wake
’cause it’s already real

can we go away
where you can be with me
but we never have to leave
’cause we’re already here

can time erase
all the changes made
but we never have to
’cause we’re still the same

you

i know you can hear me…look at me.
haha, im in the mirror, im in the ceiling,
in the reflection of the window of this bus youre on,
dont deny me my friend,
i know you can hear me,
talk to me and ill put you back,
cmon dont deny me, look at me, i know you see me,
dont be afraid, its not insanity, its the truth,
sanity does not even apply to me,
cmon my friend dont deny me,
im on the radio being played by the bus driver,
i know youre listening now, i know you,
i know you are so exhausted,
thirsty, haha, you deserve that my friend, im on to you,
i watch you when you sleep, even when you walk down
that filthy street you have grown to hate so much,
saying to yourself that one day youre gonna get away
from that place, yes my friend, i can hear you out loud,
its not insanity, its just you and me.
i sometimes even hear you curse the one you consider the
most high, and then you’ll beg for forgiveness the next minute,
you pathetic little being, dont look away,
i know you hear me,
i know you see me, cmon dont deny it my friend,
i will put you back, i promise,
just like i did a hundred times before,
hundreds of time which you only looked pass on,
but its okay my friend, im still here,
you like blaming all the bad things to me,
and thank him for all the good ones,
what were you thinking?
its me who have made you live, the one who have
saved you from all the things you cant face,
look at me you dumb f*ck!
its me who made you what you are now!
all the bad and good things that had happened,
it was all you and me my friend,
why are you afraid to look at me?
wasnt i the one who told you about those demons out to get you?
demons which turned out to be your friends after all,
cmon my friend, dont act like the world hates you,
no one even knows you exist but me,
only me, im the only one who cares for you,
pathetic little being, you like looking at other people,
thinking how you wish you were them, thinking it would be so easy
being another person, is it hard to be you?
i dont think so, youre just making it hard for you,
you like thinking that you have a f*cked up life.
when you dont.
haha, okay maybe you have.
but who cares, no one knows you my friend.
it is only i who gives a damn about you.
so why wont you love me.
if you’d only love me, everything will be alright.
there’ll be no more pain for you my friend.
just love me. come to me.
i know you will.
i know you far better than you know yourself.
i know you.
for i am you.